We Chinese are not big huggers. A handshake or a pat on the shoulder is enough to convey our friendship or affection to one another. So when our newly-acquainted Western friends reach out in preparation for a hug, some of us feel awkward.

Many questions go through our head. Where should I put my arms? Under their armpits or around their neck? What distance should I maintain? Should our chests touch?

It’s even more difficult with friends from some European countries. Should I kiss them on the cheek while hugging? Which side? Or is it both cheeks? Which side should I start on?

But it isn’t just people from cultures that emphasize a reservedness in expressing physical intimacy who find hugging confusing. Hugs can cause discomfort or even distress in people who value their personal space.

In a recent article for The Wall Street Journal, US psychologist Peggy Drexler said that although the US remains a “medium touch” culture — “more physically demonstrative than Japan, where a bow is the all-purpose hello and goodbye, but less demonstrative than Latin or Eastern European cultures, where hugs are robust and can include a kiss on both cheeks”, Americans do seem to be hugging more.

From politicians to celebrities, hugs are given willy-nilly to friends, strangers and enemies alike; and the public has been quick to pick up the practice.

Public figures know that nothing projects likeability like a good hug. US First Lady Michelle Obama has put her arms around icy foreign leaders like Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev and the Queen of England, on the latter occasion breaching royal protocol.

Pop superstar Lady Gaga is also a hug enthusiast, telling her fans that “I will always, always, try my very best to wrap my arms around you when I meet you.”

But not all are grateful to be embraced, even by the most influential and famous. To them, any hug is offensive if it’s not sincere.

Amanda Hess, writing for US magazine Slate, says public figures should stop imposing hugs on everyone they meet. For them, a hug is rarely a gesture of sincere fellowship, compassion or affection. It’s all part of a show. Hugs are falsely intimate power plays used by public figures to establish their social dominance over those in their grasp.

Cecilia Walden, a British journalist writing for The Telegraph who lives in New York, holds the same opinion. “Power-hugging”, as she calls it, is “an assault dressed up as kindness”. It has become a fad in the US where “bosses are already cuddling their staff (either shortly before or after firing them), [and] men and women their frenemies, in a thousand fraudulent displays of solidarity”.